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Back in February of 2006, Verizon Wireless CMO John Stratton showed up to the Hollywood & Vine Conference put on by Ad Age and basically roasted the entire industry for being the out-of-touch, exorbitant-amounts-of-money-spending, clueless little creatives that they are. It makes for quite a read, and is happily summarized at manhattan marketing maven.

It starts off like this:

1. Your clients are absolutely in trouble and they are looking for you to save them.
2. What you’ve been selling for the last fifty years no longer works.
3. Major marketing money is going to be in motion in the next decade and no one really yet understands exactly where it will land, if it even will land, or if it will just disappear altogether.

And just goes downhill from there, with lots of scenic stops along the way.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

PS. I don’t understand how these agencies have won the trust of corporate america. Why they’re still in the conversation is just so bizarre to me. They don’t know how to sell, they only have a vague notion of figuring out what a customer is or how to fashion a product, nor do they have any sense of accountability. They essentially get paid to spin a good line of bullshit and package it up as ideas. Well, whooppeeee, I have about 350 ideas an hour on my good days. Maybe I too could go sell my dreams to corporations.

No thanks, I’d rather just stick with things that are doable and actually bring in revenue to my clients’ coffers. And I don’t have to dress like Dieter from Sprockets, either.

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