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I’m going to keep this brief because I’m peeved, and my therapist tells me that I don’t act smart when I’m peeved. So here goes.

ATTENTION ALL MARKETERS: social networking is not some excuse to open up a sales channel on me and my friends! We are not your servants, lackeys, shills, or anything else. If we think your product or service is cool, we’ll talk about it, maybe show our friends and cousins how cool your thingamajig is. If we’re sorta into it, we might contact you to tell you how much we like your thingamajig. If we’re really into it, we’ll give you detailed information on how to improve it, or start a web site in which a bunch of us thingamajig-geeks get together and modify your thinamajig to our lives.

If we videotape ourselves doing this, or blog about it, or start up any kind of impromptu conferences about your thing, think of us as your brand champions and go out of your way to help us in any way you see fit (except please keep your crummy little fingers out of our pie and stow the chastising commentary and the “oh, you really shouldn’t use our sacred thingamajig *that* way”).

In other words, open up a channel so you can listen/watch/learn how we use your thingamajig, and learn how we move inside our social networks. Occasionally, push something out that will be of value to us (especially if it’s something we don’t know about your thingamajig or EVEN BETTER, someone new you can add to our circle as a thingamajig expert, but if he/she works for you, cop to it right away).

We understand that there are a ton of risks for you in this whole thing. After all, we might do the equivalent of creating a YOU REALLY SUCK video or rant out loud or publish an open letter to 500 of our closest friends, all through your auspices. Guess what, though? If your thingamajig sucks (or we think it does) then we’re doing that anyway, but if you give us an opportunity to do our thing with you, you might be in a position to make things unsucky.

That’s really all I have to say. Rant over.

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