scratch that niche!
On July 10th at 11am Central, I will be interviewing Stacy Armijo of Pierpont Communications–and you’re invited to listen in! We’ll be covering various aspects of using PR to enhance and fortify your online marketing strategies. Registration is free!
Message match–an important concept in online marketing. What does it mean? Basically, if you make Promise A in your promotional creative and then provide a URL, either repeat the promise or continue the conversation without a big disconnect.
For example, if your Google Adword advertises your discount lamps for home and office, don’t lead folks to a generalized landing page for all office furniture….take them to the discount lamps! This simple act of continuity can greatly increase your conversion rates and keep cognitive dissonance down.
Anna Talerico has a marvelous article on the topic of message match that dates back to 1999.
In the past 10 days I’ve received two very interesting offers (I hesitate to use the term scam although in both cases there was a slight taint of the inappropriate) from two very different companies.
The first company to approach me invoked the name of William Shatner and asked if I’d like to be featured as an example of strong American small business on TV. Naturally, I said sure, why not, and settled in for what I thought was an informational phone call. Turns out that Heartbeat of America is really a video production company out of Los Angeles, and yes, you do get to be on a show with William Shatner as he profiles your business, but only if you pay the $15,000 for video production costs. Then you get a DVD that you can use into perpetuity to promote your business.
The only reason this wasn’t a scam is that they were extremely up front about the $15,000. I wonder if I would be willing to pay it if I had it. It might be funny (and maybe even fun) to sit in a TV studio for a full day yukking it up with TJ Hooker. I also wonder how I would use the materials–as giveaway DVDs, online movies, etc? The possibilities are intriguing.
The other call I got was yesterday. It’s from America’s Best Companies. They offered, for $20.00/month, a membership in their program. What you get for this price is discounts at all these stores (like Staples) and services (like insurance), a web presence, and a listing in their expert’s portal. When I asked the guy how someone like me, with 6 years experience as a business owner, a robust web presence, yada yada, could possibly benefit, he went into hard sell mode.
I had a little bit of time on my hands so I let him go on and on, but I managed to grab a little notepad to jot down all the little salesy tricks and closes. I got up to about 12 or so by the time he took a breath. That’s when I said, “Thanks but I’m not interested” just to see what the response was. In about .01 nanoseconds, I got the reply I expected: “Frankly, I’m really surprised to hear you say that. Business owners like yourself are signing up for our service in record numbers every day.”
Then he went on to say that with my experience I might opt to become a sponsor. So I asked him how that would help me. He went on to say that the fees were X dollars a month, yada yada. I stopped him and said, “Yes, the fee helps you, but how does all this help me?” He never really had a conversation with me, he just kept going into sales mode. The only thing that really derailed him was when I listed back to him all the little sales tricks and closes he had tried on me.
That’s when he hung up.
Too bad, I was having some fun.
Now, granted, if I were a brand new business, I might have taken them up on their offer, if for nothing else exploration’s sake. But I found the hard sell and all the gimmicky approaches too slimy to countenance. Why can’t folks just have a simple conversation about what they have to offer? Is that so hard?
Yesterday was our 14th anniversary. In true “fun couple” fashion, we went out to our favorite sushi place in Austin (Tomodashi off Parmer Lane, fantastic sushi and sashimi). After consuming lots of fish and sake, we went over to the Domain and sauntered through Borders for a while.
After making various strategic additions to our DVD collection, we decided to go get some Starbucks. As we walked down the promenade, we passed Victoria’s Secret. I said, “Hey, they’ve got those linen lounge pants that you like so much,” and we went in.
Well, like other stores at the Domain, the Victoria’s Secret is pretty much big, opulent, and show-offy. A veritable temple to running dog capitalism. In other words, my kind of place, but not necessarily an easy place to wade through in search of one kind of item. So I flagged down a headset-wearing young lady wearing a two-sizes too small t-shirt that said PINK on the front.
My wife asked her where we could find linen lounge pants.
Our little helper paused, blinked, and I swear before God and all his angels, replied, “Linen pants? Like pants that you wear?”
Hope snapped right back, “Of course pants that you wear. Did you think I meant pants that you hang in the closet?”
PINK paused again, frowned, and started pointing out where all the pants were in the store, all of them very clearly heavy duty cotton, not linen. So Hope pointed out my shirt, which happened to be linen and said, “No, I want linen, like his shirt, but you know, something you can wear on the bottom.”
Another pause, another frown. “You know, you don’t have to be so nasty.” And with that, PINK spun around and left us there in the thong unmentionables.
Needless to say, we left, laughing pretty much the rest of the evening about pants that you wear.
So I really really hate the term buzz marketing.
Don’t get me wrong, I kind of like the idea. And yes, I’m postmodernist enough to admit that there are all these conversations going on in the marketplace and most of them don’t even happen in our presence, so just the idea of top-down command-and-control marketing messaging makes me a bit crazy. It’s just so…arrogant.
But! I don’t think we need to just add another voice out there just to increase the volume. It’s like a dinner out I had while in Houston. We went to a really fabulous steak house, and it was jammed to the rafters. I’ve never been in a restaurant where the conversation level actually hurt my ears. I’m serious, my tinitis kicked in about 20 minutes into the evening, and my ear was ringing the next morning. I could barely figure out what the people at my own table were saying, and I was genuinely interested in talking to them.
Too many ad agencies and marketers have jumped on the word of mouth marketing bandwagon, and in true fashion, they’ve turned this entire thing into another take on the same-old same-old. Listen, folks, word of mouth marketing means changing the way you do things. You’re supposed to come to the party with something interesting to say, and you’re supposed to listen and interact and give us your opinion and generally be a good conversationalist.
Instead, you’re showing up to the party with a megaphone and telling us what to talk about. And when you’re done telling us all about yourself, you ask us what we think of you. It’s banal, and boring, and so missing the point. Buzz, buzz, buzz.
Besides, and I don’t want to break your hearts, but I really don’t care if Paris Hilton is wearing Guess jeans this week, or if so-and-so uses an ipod in a way I’ve never figured out for myself. I know that this isn’t the be-all, end-all of buzz marketing, but so far, that’s all the buzz I’m getting from buzz marketing. (Ironic, ain’t it?)
What do I really want out of all this?
* I want stories. Human stories. I want to connect with a group of people and really get to know them well. Or at least, well enough to figure out if I want to keep hanging out with them. And they want to know my story, to see if they want to connect with me. If we each discover something cool and neat, so much the better. Or we might just be ships in the night, handing off cheat codes for Halo. Whatever.
* I want genuine stuff. I don’t want corporate crapspeak. I want to know what’s going on. Tell me if there’s a problem with the software, and tell me what you’re doing to address the issue. Make me feel like an insider, like the cool kid. Gimme that sneak peak.
* I want access to the goods. I want to see what you’re doing with your products and services. Are you just in it for the money, or do you really care? I mean, if you’re in it for just the money, that’s fantastic, but anybody can do that. People make money selling land mines to third world dictators. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, from a running dog capitalist point of view. I’m just saying, “Okay, hooray for you, but I’ve reached an end point on the fascination bus tour.” And no, I won’t answer any hate mail from the Land Mine Manufacturer’s Association. Go away.)
* If you have a point of view, be sure to tell me. But please make it easy to remember. Shorter is better. Use words Aunt Mabel would understand. No, not your Aunt Mabel the PhD in Egyptian Linguistics. My Aunt Mabel–the one with 83 cats.
* Please connect some dots for me. Like the author of Beyond Buzz puts it, we don’t need more facts and figures…we need meaning. We need connection. Please please please.
Oh, and for you marketers, don’t just put some word-of-mouth out there in the world and hope to Buddha that it actually garners results. Spring load the sucker with some smart lead generation so you’ve got something tangible to show your boss at the end of the insert-your-favorite-reporting-period. We’ll be talking about this and other things on our June 21 teleseminar by the way. Podcast forthcoming if you miss it.
Thomas Myer is a consultant, author, and speaker. He's also on a quest. No, it doesn't involve armor, dragons, white horses, or riddles. Ask him about it if you see him.
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